sestree: (sad)
[personal profile] sestree
I know it will get easier.

I'm over the anger
I'm over the guilt (mostly)
I'm getting over the 'fragile' feeling
I'm slowly getting over the 'hollow' feeling.

Mostly now I'm just sad.

Such an underrated little word to explain such a profound feeling.

Sad.

I know it will get easier with time.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 02:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madam-macaw.livejournal.com
Hugs sweetie.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 02:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
Thanks sweetie.

I swear my emotions are all over the map today. Days like today make me want to phone in for pharmaceuticals.

It *is* getting better though.
Edited Date: 2008-03-26 02:23 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dashrippington.livejournal.com
It is difficult... to be sure. I lost mine at the end of October... and I still have sadness. Even last night I got caught up in it.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
It's hard isn't it?

I keep finding notes she wrote - usually demanding notes (this was The Wild Granny after all) -- but I see them and I just well up.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reggiemental.livejournal.com
It IS hard, but as you've said, it will be easier with time. Your heart starts to heal and you think back on good times and life lessons learned.

I have a "Chores list" hanging in my office from my Dad. It was the last written thing I had from him, so I kept it. Not only sentimental for being the "last thing" from him, but for entertainment. He would always have chores for me to do around the house for him, and would/still joke about it.

Hugs sweets :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
How neat.

I've not been able to toss the stuff like that out either -- all the notes from the hospital. I will in time but it's sad to know our last conversations were on paper because of her hoarseness (which was probably esophogael cancer looking back but who the hell knows) which made it easier to write.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sweetpea86.livejournal.com
When I see you in April, I'm going to make up for the hugs I've missed giving you since Faire ended.

And you're right. Those three letters carry so much meaning when arranged in that fashion.

xoxo

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
Thanks hon - you're right those little letters carry a LOT of weight.

..and yes I'll collect on those hugs - promise.

However it *is* getting better -- Edison Lighthouse is in the house. That always helps :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pyratelady.livejournal.com
I'm glad that it is getting better, and especially if you feel it getting better.

Hang in there... hugs to you.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
That's true. How I know it's getting better is I'm not wandering around like a lost puppy.

My brain still isn't at 100% but that's ok - it deserves a break.

Thank you :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
Thanks sweetie.

btw - closer to faire I'll get with you and a few others so we can try to do a cider toast down at the Dragon. I've probably mentioned it before ... see post above ... my brain ain't exactly on all cylinders at the moment.

Hope to see you before then of course.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fairefifi.livejournal.com
It is hard, and it will get easier. Promise.
My Uncle Matt was THE man of my life. It's been 3 years. I can smil over happy times with him. Sometimes still, I get this overwhelming feeling of loss without him. It happens BUT the point I'm getting to is that is truly does get easier...

**hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
That's hard. I'm not quite to the point of smiling over happy times but it will come with time.

Thank you :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julia0925.livejournal.com
*hugs*

Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling I think is the best thing. Grieving takes time, but then, you know that.

*more hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garnetewolf.livejournal.com
I'm glad you know how you feel. I on the other hand am emotionally confused. Though John has told me it won't get easier and it won't ever hurt less, it will just get different. I think I'm looking at going back on meds. I still just don't know what to do, I feel lost. *hugz* Though I am glad you're doin ok. I never met her (I don't think) But she sounded awesome.

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