Tales from a Re-Transplanted Flatlander

...to the driver of the turquoise Grand Am this morning:

Dear Asshole Driver,

I'm certain your mother never imparted this particular bit of wisdom to you so allow me to do so: you are an absolute asshole jerk. It wasn't bad enough that you felt the inquenchable need to pull in front of me this morning on I95 northbound (just before the 175 exit) you did so even though no cars were behind me in my lane for nearly 1/2 a mile. Even so, yes I must admit you used your blinker. This does not mitigate the fact that you then proceeded to do 3-5 mph below the speed of the cars in front of you.

I patiently followed you for another mile as my exit was coming up. I did not yell, scream, or fuss - my fingers stayed on the wheel at all times. Then as I put my blinker on to change to the right hand lane - in obvious anticipation of my exit - YOU DID IT AGAIN. The difference was this time I had to slam on my brakes and this time you didn't even bother with the blinker. You probably were too busy flipping your cigarette ash out the window.

THAT time I used the horn. Yes, I will agree I used it longer than absolutely necessary I'm certain but that still doesn't mean you needed yet again to slow below the speed of other cars in your lane. That was just rude.

Side note - if you cannot drive and handle your cigarette at the same time, then you should cease one of those activities while performing the other.

Signed:

A royally pissed off very unhappy commuter.

p.s. I am copying this everywhere I can today including platewire but no I didn't write down your license plate ... when I drive my car I drive my car - I do not multitask my way hazardously down the highway ....