seen over at pyratelady's

( would you, wouldn't you ... )

...and here I thought I was just paranoid....

Onion Horoscope for Cancer, 2005-08-03

http://www.theonion.com/#2005-8-3

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): Although you've never wanted to accomplish anything in your life as far as career and family are concerned, time travelers will persist on trying to kill you, simply because you make such great panic noises.