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Onion Horoscope for Cancer, 2005-08-10

http://www.theonion.com/#2005-8-10

Cancer (June 22 - July 22): You thought that your new lifestyle would be a nonstop party in the lap of luxury, but apparently Mr. Hefner has strict rules for his "permanent houseguests."

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Date: 2005-08-11 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isabelladangelo.livejournal.com
Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
Your torments will continue apace, but their intensity will slacken, as God is distracted lately by his hobby of striking random Boy Scouts with lightning.
Hmmm...does this mean my brother is next? He is a boy scout camp counselor....:-)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-08-11 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sestree.livejournal.com
hmmm maybe we should hide him @ Hugh's house? LOL

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