found over at etcets

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Random thoughts .........

......inspired by squire_liz's post time to "move on"

I started to write this as a reply over there but then I thought why clutter up her LJ with this.

We all grow and change. Some more than others (my mother is a prime example of 'others' but I will leave that alone for a while) and while it's sometimes painful or confusing, often it's all for the best when groups and/or activities change members.

For years and years I was a very active member of my local symphony, my local community jazz band, and my local community band. I was (and I hope still am) a pretty damned good percussionist. I've played with semi famous and not to famous people. I don't do it anymore. It's a choice.

Jon (hubby) and other's have tried to shift me back into it. It's not that I've outgrown music but I've definitely outgrown performing. I spent every holiday preparing for a performance it seems. Fourth of July meant wondering how hot it was going to be, how windy, did I bring enough water, hauling the equipment (I was also the equipment manager since *snerk* my shit was the biggest and the biggest headache) would the violins steal my stands. Christmas didn't mean Christmas cookies but organizing equipment, finding alternate percussionist, and listening to the choir butcher Rutter's Christmas Carols. I fixed shit, broke shit and polished shit to play in front of an often noisy, rarely interested audience. I have played with a 102 temp, after a major person in my life died, and with a broken foot. I've missed funerals and weddings. I have had the stage pit floor break on me. I don't want to do that any more.

It's rather pleasant not to HAVE to revolve my life around Monday night, Thursday night rehearsals.

I have (quite happily) become a rather selfish bitch. I like my freedom.

Wow that felt good to get out of my system....sorry for boring the audience but hell I did it on tympani for nearly 20 years. Time I took a break.

Later y'all ........